Anonymous asked: Hello, I've considered coming out to my mom. She is religious in her own way and I don't know if she would be open minded to having a pansexual daughter. I am tired of hiding this though. I don't want to hide anymore but I'm terrified of coming out to her because I don't know how she's going to react. I tried telling her when I was younger and it ended poorly so I told her I was kidding, just keeping her on her toes. I'm scared. Help me, please?
hi. :) sorry for taking so long to reply!
….hmmm, a religious parent. that’s something that i personally struggle with as well, so i’m not sure if i’m the best person to be responding to this ask. ^^;
that said… there are many ways one can come out to someone, some of which are indirect/casual. for example, if you mom says something about a guy being cute, perhaps you could agree but then point out someone else of a different gender and make a similar comment to see how your mom reacts & spark a conversation. if you feel you want to be more direct about it without spelling it out to her face-to-face, perhaps you could drop bigger hints by leaving pages or images about pansexuality clearly visible on your computer screen where & when you know your mom will see it. it may perk her curiosity and she may come up to the computer and look more into it, thus learning more about it without you actually telling her.
as for how your mom may react to your sexuality… i don’t dare guess at that, but if you think your mom may respond harshly i recommend not dropping hints or coming out until you feel yourself mentally ready to deal with the likely onslaught of questions, emotions, etc that would probably come your way. of course it’s hard to really ever truly be ready for that sort of things… but try to feel secure in yourself as much as possible? if you remain strong through it all, even if things get really rocky between you and your mom you’ll make it through it. remember your mom will need time to process everything and the time she needs may be much longer than you’d like. if so, try to take things slow with her and give her space as needed.
i hope that if you do come out to her it all goes well in the end. there may be a storm as your mom tries to come to grips with your sexuality and her religion, but hopefully there will be a rainbow with a pot of gold at the end of it all.
best wishes. :)
- nighstar / Queer As Cat